The Coronavirus Blahs

Covid fatigue anyone? Or, as my six-year-old granddaughter said months ago, when being reminded to social distance, “I know, I know. Coronavirus, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

We’ve all got ‘em: the coronavirus blahs. The good news? A cost-saving thang? I don’t need Botox! My upper lip is permanently swollen (and chapped) from mask-wearing. And I don’t even wear one that much; I feel immensely sorry for those who must.

I have a friend who just finished a year of expensive invisalign tooth straightening. And now, thanks to the mask? Well, pretty much the only one who sees her perfectly aligned teeth is her husband.

Lipstick expenditures are way down though, huh ladies? Or do you continue to forget? Put it on to go out? Take it off again to put the mask on once you get there?

More good news? That mask is gonna keep your face nice and toasty in the winter, right?

Hmmm. The cooler weather is taking us inside, where we don’t feel safe, so to stay connected seems we’re back Zooming again. But, let’s just stay connected to each other and not drift off, fantasizing, and connect to . . . ahem, personal body parts like Jeffrey Toobin! My husband B calls it, “Zoomin’ with Toobin”. Oh geez. If you’re unfamiliar with the matter, you could Google it while that option is still available (Google was sued by the US government recently for their monopoly powers).

But, truly guys, it’s one thing when a person falls from grace and you’re ambivalent about that person, or you can’t stand them, right? I like(d) Toobin! He is (was?) highly intelligent and accomplished: a US lawyer, writer for the New Yorker, analyst for CNN, author of books for cripes’ sake! Alas, not intelligent enough to keep it in his pants while on a Zoom work call. As Heather Mallick writes in thestar.com, “On Twitter, good men are issuing pleas. ‘It is the easiest thing in the world to keep your junk in your pants. Don’t be a #MeToobin.’”

And just like that, as Confucius might say, man who allow little head to think for big head become big dickhead.

Bringing it back to masks, what do you think of anti-maskers? Perhaps you agree with them? Personally, I’ve been surprised by the huge protests over masks, in cities throughout the world. Locally, there’s been several incidents on transit services where people have become enraged about having to wear one. I say, if you don’t want to wear one, don’t go where they’re mandated. I mean, sure, they are annoying and suffocating, but we humans are so resilient, eh? You can adjust pretty quickly if you let yourself.

Maybe I’m too much of a follower – a “sheep” the anti-maskers would call me – but, I figure in a health crisis like this we should appeal to the most vulnerable, the most freaked out by it. And, it seems masks, along with social distancing, do work. Watching CBC news the other night, it was estimated mask-wearing in Canada is in the 80% range, while in the US, due to a lack of good federal leadership, it’s in the 60% range. A quick look at the stats shows that the infection and death rates in the US continue to be alarmingly high, while ours, although trending up now in some areas due to the change of seasons and increased activity, remain low.

Masked up and chatting with Jazzercise friends after class about anti-maskers, while also lamenting new restrictions that mean we’re reduced to 10 people/class, we agreed that, mentally, some people are just plain fed up. We are all fed up with this pandemic, but unfortunately it’s not fed up with us yet. Quick research (Google, still there? Ah, yes.) into the Spanish flu shows it lasted from February 1918 to April 1920. More than two years! But we’re more advanced right? Medically, technologically? Vaccines are being rushed through. But it’s looking like next spring, summer and will a vast majority of the population take them?

To show how far we’ve come in 100 years, here’s a recent Macleans’ magazine headline: “Sick president. Global pandemic. Racial injustice. Welcome to the U.S. election . . . of 1920.” Wow.

Don’t despair; I have more good news. Got a car? You can still go for a drive. And if you’re with your bubble or alone? You don’t need to mask up! Another Jazzercise friend did just that, embarking on an interesting adventure.

“Since I can’t travel to Europe,” she said, “I’ve been taking day trips to SWO (Southwestern Ontario) towns with European names.” On Facebook she posted her beautiful pics, resplendent in fall colours, from towns like Paris, Scotland and Copenhagen.

“While I was out exploring I sought out trails and conservation areas,” she added. “And also made sure to buy local – from an orchard, a cheese farm, markets, a couple of bakeries, a craft brewery, roadside stands, etc.”

So, depending on your point of view? You can rail against restrictions . . . or delight in the smell of the roses in your own backyard (where you don’t have to wear a mask! Lol.)

Hang in there! Be creative. We (kind of) know how to deal with this illness. Masks and social distancing and lots and lots of hand washing/sanitizer (oh, the red, raw hands!) do work. We’re probably in for a long, cold, dark winter (insert frozen blue gritted-teeth emoji here) but we can do this! Right?!

And as the days shorten and cool, perhaps it’s important to recall this quote from Alfred Wainwright: “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.”